11 Reasons Why 2020 Doesn't Suck

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A true list by someone who has isolated alone for 6 months

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  1. I’ve learned how to spoon myself with a pillow. (Use an elbow shaped pillow and put it behind you.)

  2. I’ve started calling myself sweet pea.

  3. I listen to the birds, do my best to mimic their sounds with the correct pronunciation and pitch and rhythms, and sometimes they seem to understand me and we hold conversations.

  4. I message with neighbours I’ve only met once.

  5. I meet my breath every day.

  6. I’ve learned how to cry without hiding my tears, even if they arrive when I’m walking down the street. I don’t wipe them away. I let them roll down my face and let go of me when they are ready.

  7. I’ve learned how to write and record a piece of music most weeks, even when I feel I am too impossibly broken to begin. (I’ve included one of these pieces at the end of this list.)

  8. I’ve learned how to hold exquisite sorrow and harrowing fear and uncertainty in one hand, whilst simultaneously holding a heart bursting from the magic of the sky and the light and the colours in the trees and interconnectedness of everything and the relentless kindness of strangers in the other. I had already been practising this sometimes. Now I live it.

  9. I’ve learned without a doubt that the darkness and fear that comes for me is not because I am weak or broken or have failed, but just because I am human. It comes to us all but everyone else did such a good job of pretending it didn’t come for them, I used to think I was the weak link. Now everyone is too tired to pretend and it’s ripped away my shame. Perhaps this is the biggest gift?

  10. I’ve learned the art of steadfastly being kind to myself no matter what my inner critic or anyone else says, even when it seems too hard or pointless. (It’s almost always seemed too hard or pointless most days this year so far. But it’s the most important work of all.)

  11. I’ve learned how to write myself a list of the good things, the things that are not wrong, even when I am struggling and flailing down the bottom of the big dark hole. That it always makes life feel less heavy, more doable. My bones know that the darkness lies. The darkness is not forever. Nothing ever is. In this time of uncertainty, this certainty brings steadiness.

What is not wrong about 2020 for you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.